Fear? Ha, I wish it was just fear. No, this is something different, a bone trembling void of knowing as I am to about to plunge into the pit of what may be  greatest or worst thing to happen in my existence. I cannot obsess. I must relax. I must stay calm. I must think of something else. Sinful red and heavenly yellow flowers cascade down from the white gazebo to where a lone bench lays.  The humid air mixes with the sweet aromas creating an almost tropical setting slowly calming me down.  A single mosquito lands between my forefinger and thumb, these chretiens all but rule Florida and we are hopeless to resist them.  But before I close the distance between the head of my finger and his body, I see myself in this vile creature. Like I , he is attempting to do something that may very well crush him to which he shall not recover.  He was thirsty, yearning for the blood of another victim. Yearning as much as I to the knowledge of the question I am soon to ask.  We both at that moment were afraid of what was to come next, though it must come.  I open my left land to reveal the ring, it glistens an assortment of colors in the light brought down upon it.  My breathing becomes rapid but soon I find myself looking down, frowning at the mosquito who is now feasting upon my fluids.  Though that thought leaves me as I look up,  my name is yelled from across the lake and I see her.  Descending from the crest of the emerald grassy hill she gracefully glides towards me her hair flying up towards the blue cloudless sky and the trees dancing beside her.  My resolve hardened, I take a small breath in, raise my right hand and gently blow the insect to which flies over the lake and disappears.  She sits down and begins talking and I cherish every word,while inside me a battle rages tearing at my very being until at last I can bear it no more.  Halfway through our conversation I fall to one knee and present the ring.  Words escape my mouth too which I have no memory of and moments later I am tackled to the ground she's laughing crying yes, it a blissful one which I hoped would never end I look over the lake and think next the wedding. 

I walk toward the front window in my house and sigh as I see my mother's car engine fumes rise up like a great dragon's steamy breath cutting through the cold October day.  With grim acceptance, I slowly put on my blue Patagonia jacket and head out into the dreary soon to be winter future. A bitter taste resides in my mouth as I foresee the next six months of depressing Calgary season schedule.  I shall wake up without the joy of a sun but a foreboding moon in my face as I briskly get ready for the long bus ride to school. After my brain has been bombarded with questions, answers, facts and names I take my slow bus ride home, only to have to rush into my house and get ready for training.  I have about five minutes to get completely prepared or traffic on Crowchild Trail shall soon reach such a peak that it matters not the path we take. I am late for training.  I charge through the University of Calgary to where my training begins, construct my computrainer  as my coach gives me glare and begin with the next two hours of grueling pedaling, through it I'm yearning to take my bike outside and glide down hills and sweat up them.  I snap back to reality to realize the bus ride is almost over and,as I gaze at the car ahead I slip my hands into my pockets of my coat in a desperate attempt to fight away the cold. A strange sensation surprises me as I feel the smooth surface of paper and as I take it from my pocket I realize it's a ten dollar bill.  A smile hooks the corner of my mouth as i piece together what my friend Alex and I shall feast on with this treasure at Safeway later that evening.  Suddenly the future doesn't seem so bad and as the sun finally climbs through the sky I finally start to feel warm.